Category Archives: Disaster of the Day!

Birds and Da Beads.

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I’ve really been lagging on the blog this week. So many false promises here and there…did you people really think I was gonna get a whole weekend’s worth of posts up last weekend? Please. I was too busy spilling on everything I wore to stay classy enough for the camera. Quick update: made a little trip to Castle Park in Sherman Oaks with the boyfriend over the weekend to play some mini golf. We made it to the first hole of 18, where you hit the ball into a tube and it rolls downstairs to another patch of green below. All fine and dandy, 2 quick puts and that was that, not bad. The problem was of course, the stairs. I made it halfway down the stairs safely before tripping, feet somehow slipping out from under me, butt to concrete, and not only spilling my mango smoothie all over myself, but crushing the dropped plastic cup beneath me as well. All in front of families of 5 year olds waiting behind us, who all managed to take the stairs with more grace than I. Story of my life. 

However, moving on from my trauma, and the right half of my body that was sore for a few days after….here’s another stay-cool outfit in honor of Coachella part deux this weekend. Beaded slouchy tee, neoprene skater skirt, and the infamous fringe booties glued to my feet once again.

Boots: Target (on clearance now guys!)
Skirt: F21 (similar)
Tee: Zara (last spring)
Bag: DSW (other colors here)
Shades: Wasteland (similar)
Necklaces & Stacked Rings: Urban Outfitters (similar rings here and here)

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Why I Can’t Have Nice Things…

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You know me and printed pants. I can never have too many pairs. This was yet another Zara steal, and a while back they had one of their massive sales where I was able to score one of the last pairs of these white and gray floral printed skinnies for $7. Yep, I’ve gotten really good at the “thrift-store-level-pricing” from my favorite non-thrift stores. There were very few reasons to turn these pants down in my opinion (haters, go ahead and hate, I love floral pants), but one of them that almost turned me away is the fact that they are white. A) most of us look like we have a couple pounds added onto us in white skinnies, it definitely emphasizes bloat, so I always have to wear these when I’ve been working out and eating right all week. And B) I am a professional spiller. Oh dear God, am I a spiller….

In fact, I put this outfit on (wearing them for the first time, mind you) to go meet a friend for lunch and coffee, and I even said to myself “Renee…you have to be really careful with your coffee today. You cannot excitedly flail your monkey arms while chatting and you have to get a little plug for your cup hole.” The fact that I mentally warned myself should have been enough, right? WRONG. Not even 5 sips into my damn triple latte did I set my cup down too hard in conversation and watched in slow motion as it all came bubbling out of that tiny hole on top and onto my white pants. It’s shocking just how much liquid can escape that little opening, and how forcefully it foams over onto everything. Not pictured, as I photographed this outfit before leaving the house (fortunately), is the giant brown coffee stain conveniently coating my mid-thigh area. Anyone who has ever worked with me in an office setting that supplies coffee knows this about me. I have never owned anything white that I haven’t managed to destroy within an hour of having it on my body.

This is why when I go on the hunt for new white skinny jeans, you don’t see me buying J Brand, or 7FAM, or Paige, or Hudson….all my white pants are like $30 and under for this very reason. This is just one of many examples as to why I can’t have nice things. No matter how careful I mentally prepare myself to be, the fact is I am a giant freaking klutz in every aspect imaginable. “Graceful” has never been a word used to describe me, and it looks like that’s not changing any time soon. In the meantime, thank God for Dawn blue dish soap, the ultimate stain remover. I literally never head to the laundry room without it.

 

Jeans: Zara (Similar, and super cheap incase you’re also a spiller!)
Heels: True Religion (similar, on sale!)
Sweater: H&M (similar)
Vest: H&M

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